Pinned toot

back in my grandma's day you could just cut into your wealthy husbands brake lines. now you gotta hack into his self driving car. learn to code kids

Pinned toot
Pinned toot
Pinned toot
Pinned toot

weed may not be a "gateway drug" but it sure as hell doesn't help you eat fewer chocolate covered almonds

Lmaooo. My first Masto Meetup that I remembered to get a pic of and @DickieGreenleaf didn't want y'all to see him drunk πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ He is incredibly fun and charming btw. Also a TALL 😍😍. Anyway this is us right before I left for the show lmao

of course girls like me. I'm psychic and I know how to ride horses

guys always want to know how to get girls to like them. listen, there's not some big secret. just be the best at karate or translating obscure texts, or ideally both

he was my bosses bosses boss and literally everyone under him quit within 6 months of each other

you know how every other suggested video on youtube is some right wing lunatic "Destroying Feminism" or whatever? yah thats largely the work of one guy who works at every tech company in Silicon Valley for 1-2 years before being fired for "HR reasons" and failing up to a bigger role at another company. I think he's a director at FB now as a matter of fact

I could be married for 20 years with kids and a life together & if they did rap at karaoke I'd go to the store for cigarettes and hasta nunca

it's important to be yourself. unless you meet someone that looks just like you but is wealthy and successful. in that case, bump them off and be that person instead

Did you know the Nintendo game company was founded in 1889 and became a staple of organized crime economics?

Marvel's What If? comic series is becoming a TV show which is weird because there was only one good issue of that comic

my dream home is in a place where ley lines intersect and police jurisdictions dont

I saw this on Univision once when I was a kid and have been looking for it ever since, but haven't been able to find it

dreammwalking and karate fighting a demon is a concept that deserves a better treatment then it got in Dream Warriors

at least the end of our future is closer than the beginning of our past

Show more

Mastodon for witches and those who
dabble in the occult.
Heavily moderated, not a free speech zone