◾ ill-advised tooting to try to drown out the part of you that doesn't really believe anything good is actually possible ever again and everything you care about will die meaninglessly and in incredible pain while everyone else reaps rewards and has no idea how to teach you the same
no look see there was a pattern for handling this but I forget what it was. something about the natural uncertainty of the world
no see this is just trauma brain though, I know this is wrong
still
fuck
